Revelations

In 2002 I felt that God was asking me to step out of the box and lean on him in a big way. After five years in a successful job I resigned and started my own professional organizing business and helping Kandis in her cleaning business. At the time I thought that God has something new in store for me. Behold, I do a new thing! Everyone in my life thought I was crazy walking away from a bright future but I knew that God was leading me and things would be fine. I didn't understand where He was leading me but I knew I needed to listen.

After 18 months and the aftershock of 9-11 I was unable to maintain my client base and began looking for stable work again. I'd understood the significance of stepping out in faith but could not understand why my business failed sending me back into corporate America 2 years after leaving. The stint (job) I held from month 18-24 was so incredibly miserable that I can't even write about it. Fortunately in 2004 I found my way into my current job restoring our bank account and my confidence.

As I posted yesterday I kept thinking, I've been here before. This place where God asks me to step out in faith, give it all up ... but I can't remember when. Why does this position of being tested in the same way seems so familiar? Once again I feel God asking me to step away from all that 'appears' secure (the job) and follow Him. Why has it come to this again? What did I miss the first time?

As I sat thru In The Light tonight it came to me. The answer I've been seeking for seven years about why I left my job in 2002. It was a test. It was God putting me through the very same test that I face today except the path is clear, the direction defined, the call confirmed. It was a huge move for me to make and as I face the days and months ahead it seems small in comparison. Back then we had a small mortgage, Kandis's income was steady and we had nothing to loose. Now we have twice the mortgage and daycare for Jaida that equals it. We just got Kandis back to work in August. I barely made it through being fired and/or laid off. We have health and dental insurance. We just restarted our 401k after 2 years. And to follow this call we are to walk away from all of that, figure out a way to pay the bills every month and pay tuition every quarter while continuing to nuture our family life.

God can move mountains. I do believe this. I have seen it. And I'm sharing this blog because I want others to see it too. Seven years ago God was leading me, preparing me, challenging me simply to see if I'd listen and now I understand why. If I'd not had that experience I might not be prepared for what lies ahead.